Wednesday, May 4, 2011

~ Darkness ~





What do you do when everything seems to go dark....

I know when people hear March 11th, they think of the earthquake in Japan.. Earlier that day, that is what it meant to me too..

I got up that day and heard about the earthquake, and it just seemed so unreal and like you just can't even imagine it, because it is soooo far away.. But you commit to pray for them and go about your day... Although, this day, the month of March and even for 5-6wks after, have been unlike any that I have ever had...

I won't go into all the details because it can be hard for some to read..

I felt so much unrest within that day, so it was nice that we had a house full of kiddos later that day and night... It is like they bring so much joy and life to our home... I was 7almost 8wks. pregnant at that time, so I was extremely tired and was going to bed every night so early... I had gone up to bed around 8pm and left my phone downstairs.. (i even fell asleep with all the noise going on!)

My oldest son came up about 30 minutes after I had fallen asleep, because my mom was trying to get ahold of me. She couldn't reach me on my cell, so she called his phone... She called to tell me that everyone was trying to call me to tell me that a good friend of mine had just passed away in a car accident... All I could do was moan... I have no words for the agony.. I couldn't even cry... No one wanted me to see it on Facebook and find out that way b/c of the pregnancy... I stayed up most of the night with the Lord...

That was Friday night...

Monday morning I went in for my first ultrasound, and we got bad news again: "the baby did not develop like it was suppose to.... The doctor suggested that I have a DNC... But I needed time to think about everything...

I will give you a list of what has happened in April.. The dryer started going out, hot water heater started leaking, sump pump went out, something on computer went out, pipe started leaking in roof, my cell phone started acting weird and when we took it in they said that they had never heard one do that before, my sons glasses broke, and my car starter went out...

I am doing this like how Star Wars did their movies... Giving you what has happened now, and will go back to tell the history of how things led up to this in different posts... I didn't realize how even writing this would affect me, so I will try to write at least every other day, to give the history... And to share what the Lord has shown and is showing me along the way...

Isaiah 45:3: I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Don't give up, even if things seem dark... We are all on this journey {together}!

Love,
Tracy

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