Wednesday, May 18, 2011

~ Coming Soon!!!! ~

I am very excited to say that I have two friends that will be contributing to this blog very soon!! I can't wait for you to meet them!! I love them, their hearts and their fierce love for the Lord and people... Can't wait to see what they will write or vlog...

Stay tuned!!"

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."~Donna Roberts



Tuesday, May 10, 2011

~Where Did THAT Come From?~

Do you ever read what Jesus says in the word, and think "wow, that was harsh" or "where did that come from?" {Like something is said "out of the blue"..}

Like when He told Peter, "get behind me Satan"(Matthew 16:23), right after He had said some amazing things to him...

Or when He said to the Pharisees, "you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean." (Matthew 23:27)

The one in particular that I am talking about today baffled me when I first read it...

Matthew 12:46-50: While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, His mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to Him. Someone told Him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to You." He replied to him, "Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing to His disciples, He said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."

Umm... Hello? Honor your mother and father? (I was confused... until I read it in Mark)..

On a side note: I LOVE the gospel of Mark! Guys just want you to say it, and not hear the whole process... Us ladies want to go on a journey with you... Mark is a man after a woman's heart, he GIVES THE DETAILS!!! Not that he put all the stories and parables in his book, but when he did, it was so much more detailed... Many "WOW!" moments for me...

I heard someone talk about how there are titles in the bible, and it makes us think that each part is a new story, or that they are not connected with what you just read. So, I started reading it as if the titles weren't there. Like in my bible, (an NIV version) it has this story in different parts. One of the titles says "Jesus and Beelzebub" and the other says "Jesus' Mother and Brothers", but THEY ARE connected, and it is all the same account. I am going to add emphasis to things that stood out to me, as I read it in his account. And I feel, it showed me why He gave the answer He did that day...

Mark 3:20-35:

Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that He and His disciples were not even able to eat. When His family heard about this, they went to take charge of Him, for they said, "He is out of His mind."

And the teachers of the law who came down from Jerusalem said, "He is possessed by Beelzebub!" By the prince of demons He is driving out demons."

So Jesus called them and spoke to them in parables: "How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself it cannot stand. And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. In fact, no one can enter a strong man's house and carry of his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can rob his house. I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.

He said this because they were saying, "He has an evil spirit."

{{{{then they put in the new title: "Jesus' Mother and Brothers", but it is still a continuation, not a new story.}}}}

v. 31: Then Jesus' mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call Him. A crowd was sitting around him and they told him, "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you."

"Who are my mother and my brothers?" He asked.
Then He looked at those seated in a circle around Him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."

See!! Isn't it awesome!! Mark, I thank you for making it clear in your gospel! And see guys, sometimes you do need to hear all the details. ;-)

Now, it makes sense! And, it also made me think that people, and sometimes even those closest to you, like your family (and maybe even those who got a visit from an angel telling about you) will not always understand what the Lord has called you too. (I know it would bother me if my kiddos were going without food, and not resting.) But when the Lord has called you to something, you just have to keep pressing forward. Even at the risk of being misunderstood by those who know and love you and are even closest to you...

Be blessed by His word!



Friday, May 6, 2011

~Doing It Like Star Wars~ {Going back to tell the story..}

To understand my title, read my last post here .

I love this pictures... To me it symbolizes this journey we are on... We go through the storms, we know what they look like, we see them in our past, but we keep moving forward... Eventually we do come through it...

I am sharing what I recently went through in hopes that it would encourage someone. To know that even when the storms of life come, that Jesus is really with you... It may be dark, and confusing right now... It may seem like the Lord is quiet, but He's there... You may be reading this and not know the Lord, that you can call out to Him or how to... but you can... He WANTS to make Himself known to you... And He does it in so many ways.

October 15, 2010:

I was attending a weekly class they were holding at church. Each week before the class would start they would have a worship time for about an hour... It is a time set aside for just you and the Lord... I would sit there and close my eye and pray or just be quiet and let the Lord speak to my heart... On this night, I felt like the Lord showed me and placed on my heart that I would get pregnant and a time frame... I know that the Lord can show us stuff and that it is not always literal, but symbolic for what is ahead... I had my journal with me and wrote down everything... In it I wrote, "Is it possible that I am going to get pregnant?" "When"... What I got made me think: "is it 3months, 3years?" I also thought maybe that I was pregnant with a future plan or purpose that He wanted to bring about... Then one of the people that was leading that night got up to speak, and the first thing she said that night was: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you".... Jeremiah 1:5 I thought that out of ALL of the scriptures in the bible, she used THAT one... I didn't believe it was a coincidence..

So, I left it alone, like I have with other things that have been placed on heart and knew that "if" it was in fact the Lord, then it would come to pass, either way.. And that He would make it clear...

A few weeks later in another time of worship, the same thing happened again... I had forgotten what happened before... I was sitting there wondering if this was really the Lord...

Just to let you know, for my husband and I, another baby was not even on our radar screen... We have 15 and 11 year old boys... I did want more babies before, but we could never get on the same page about it, so I just let the dream go... But I felt soooooo blessed with what I had. I wasn't sad, things were so good for us, and I would literally cry at times in my quiet time with the Lord because He has blessed us soooo much, and restored... so... much...

Then one day in early December, my husband and I were out running errands together... We were at Half~Price Books and he points out some baby stuff and I noticed that he had been pointing out baby stuff lately... {not even thinking about those nights, and what the Lord placed on my heart.} I asked him why he kept on pointing out all that stuff when he didn't want anymore kiddos... He said, "we can have a baby." and I was like WHAT?!?!? He said, "let's have a baby."

You don't understand, FOR YEARS that is what I wanted sooooo bad... Even a couple of years back I wrote about it and put it in my prayer box. I put: "the best Christmas present my husband could ever give me, is to say that he wants to have a baby." But he never did, and we were getting older... Then the Lord started to restore things in our lives and in our marriage, and I gave that dream to the Lord... I told Him that if it was His will that I would welcome it with open arms, but if not, then I that was ok too, and I finally let it go... totally...

Then, in DECEMBER, my husband is saying this! But, it is two years later, and WE ARE OLDER, and moving on to another phase in our lives...

I would lay awake at night and go over and over this, still not thinking about those nights in October and November... I would think, "do we want to start all over?", "Can I do this?" And then I would think, "but I prayed for this, and I also said that it would best Christmas gift my husband could ever give me, and IT IS HAPPENING, only we are older!" I couldn't believe it, but I WAS SCARED... (maybe part of it was that my desire was potentially coming to pass, but what if it didn't and I had to let it go again...) I thought and prayed about it the rest of December. We decided at the beginning of January that we would try to get pregnant: January, February, March, April, and if it didn't happen, we would be fine with that and just move forward...

On February 15, 2011 we found out that we were expecting a baby... I was shaking, I was so excited... We couldn't believe it!!! Then, those nights in October and November came flooding back to me... I ran to get my journal and flipped back to see exactly what I wrote... I saw where I had asked the Lord, {based on what He had shown me about the time frame} 3months, 3years, and it was 3 MONTHS from that first time He placed it on my heart!!!! I just couldn't believe it!! He was speaking to me about this!!

I started telling family and friends and they were all so excited... This was the first time in my life that when I told people I was pregnant, everyone was excited... It was such a blessing... I prayed for our little baby everyday...

This pregnancy was different though... I felt sooooo sick and sooooo emotional... It was tough... I thought for sure I must be having a girl, because I didn't feel this way with my boys... It was really hard because I was scared a lot... I went from doing everything for my family, to doing nothing... So on top of being so sick, I felt like a failure as a wife and mom because I couldn't do anything... My husband was sooooo amazing and understanding through this time. I totally fell in love with him in a whole other way... He would say stuff about having other kids and I would tell him and the Lord, "I am NOT doing this again." I could do it once, by the grace of God, but not again...

Fast forward to March 11th... I found out that I lost a good friend in a car accident... Then on March 14th we went in for our 1st ultrasound. I was nervous but I knew that once I saw the baby, I would feel so much better... I was even thinking that once we found out the sex and if it was a girl, we might give her my friends middle name... I was 8wks. pregnant.. When they did the ultrasound, the tech said that the baby didn't develop like it was suppose to.. It was devastating... As we were waiting for the doctor to come in, I said, "would you want to try again, or was it too much for you?" and he said, "it wasn't too much for me..." {i feel like the Lord placed destiny in my heart and even though I said I wouldn't do it again, something in me rose up and knew that we would probably try again...}

So many things were swirling in my head, "i have to call everyone", "we have to tell the boys", "what happens now", "what about what the Lord showed me", "what does this mean?".....

The doctor came in and said that people usually have a DNC at this point... I didn't know what that was, she explained, and asked her if I could just let things progress naturally... She said I could wait a little longer, and for me to come in the following week to see if everything was decompressing, then at that point we would decide..

We made our phone calls and let the boys know. I just was trying to process ALL of what was going on... {My friend Melissa dying and now our baby...} What in the world is going on???

Tuesday, I woke up from a nap, and the thought crossed my mind that we could pray for a miracle... Medically, it is impossible, but with God, all things are possible... So my husband and I prayed: "Lord, we are going to love You and follow You no matter how You choose to answer, but we are praying for a miracle for this baby.." I told some people and they were standing with us in prayer... I wrote on my stomach some stuff and one of those was: "you shall live and not die and declare the works of the Lord!" I called prayer lines and they prayed with me...

We went back a week later and nothing had changed... The doctors said that because we were about to go out-of-town for a week, they wanted me to have the surgery a week before I left... They were concerned that if I did this on my own, that I might run into complications and be 1100 miles away.

So, I went in to have the DNC on March 23rd... The "silver lining" that day was the doctor and anesthesiologist... The doctor came in to talk with me before the procedure and asked my friend if she was my sister. My friend replied "sister in Christ"... Then the doctor grabbed both of our hands and prayed with us! It was amazing!!! Before she walked out she said that the anesthesiologist was a Christian too... It really is the little things (although it felt like a big thing to me.) that you have to look for even in the midst of it all...

On a side note, I was reading in the word one morning (probably looking for some kind of answer) and something very interesting caught my attention.

Matthew 8:18: When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. {then after He gave the orders some people were talking to Him}

Matthew 8:23-25: Then He got into the boat and His disciples {{followed Him}}. Without warning a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat.

The interesting thing about this is, Jesus gave the orders to get in the boat, and the disciples obeyed, and then it says: "Without warning a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat." So, I thought: "Wow, they were following Jesus, doing what they were told, and this storm just comes up." Which I think we all know this in our mind, but if you are like me, you wonder if you did something to cause the storm... But after I read this, it was like I knew I was on the right path, doing what I was told to do, but here comes the storm... And it was His question to them, that has me thinking...

Matthew 8:26: “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” {why are you so afraid?} {why am I so afraid??}

These storms that I just went through, allowed all this stuff to rise to the surface that, I either didn't know was there, or had shoved down... Storms have a way of stirring stuff up, to where you have no energy to keep them down, "pulling yourself by your boot straps" and "putting on a brave face just wont cut it"...

So yeah Jesus, why am I so afraid? Help me get to the root.... Loss is hard, and no one wants to lose someone they love, but I am talking about all the other stuff that rose to the top....

I will continue with this story at later dates, and will also be blogging about other stuff along the way...

Blessings to you out there, and praying that the Lord makes Himself known to you and that you know how much you are truly loved..



Wednesday, May 4, 2011

~ Darkness ~

What do you do when everything seems to go dark....

I know when people hear March 11th, they think of the earthquake in Japan.. Earlier that day, that is what it meant to me too..

I got up that day and heard about the earthquake, and it just seemed so unreal and like you just can't even imagine it, because it is soooo far away.. But you commit to pray for them and go about your day... Although, this day, the month of March and even for 5-6wks after, have been unlike any that I have ever had...

I won't go into all the details because it can be hard for some to read..

I felt so much unrest within that day, so it was nice that we had a house full of kiddos later that day and night... It is like they bring so much joy and life to our home... I was 7almost 8wks. pregnant at that time, so I was extremely tired and was going to bed every night so early... I had gone up to bed around 8pm and left my phone downstairs.. (i even fell asleep with all the noise going on!)

My oldest son came up about 30 minutes after I had fallen asleep, because my mom was trying to get ahold of me. She couldn't reach me on my cell, so she called his phone... She called to tell me that everyone was trying to call me to tell me that a good friend of mine had just passed away in a car accident... All I could do was moan... I have no words for the agony.. I couldn't even cry... No one wanted me to see it on Facebook and find out that way b/c of the pregnancy... I stayed up most of the night with the Lord...

That was Friday night...

Monday morning I went in for my first ultrasound, and we got bad news again: "the baby did not develop like it was suppose to.... The doctor suggested that I have a DNC... But I needed time to think about everything...

I will give you a list of what has happened in April.. The dryer started going out, hot water heater started leaking, sump pump went out, something on computer went out, pipe started leaking in roof, my cell phone started acting weird and when we took it in they said that they had never heard one do that before, my sons glasses broke, and my car starter went out...

I am doing this like how Star Wars did their movies... Giving you what has happened now, and will go back to tell the history of how things led up to this in different posts... I didn't realize how even writing this would affect me, so I will try to write at least every other day, to give the history... And to share what the Lord has shown and is showing me along the way...

Isaiah 45:3: I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

Don't give up, even if things seem dark... We are all on this journey {together}!


Friday, April 29, 2011


This is for everyone who has gone through a loss... I just lost two loved ones in the last six weeks... And now I am thinking of those who lost their loved ones in these recent tornados... In the storms of life ~ keep breathing.... Love~Tracy

Thursday, April 28, 2011


OH MY GOSH, I LOVE HIS WORD AND I LOVE HOW HE CAN AND WILL ANSWER THROUGH IT!! I literally feel like I am high right now because of what I found!! Yay, Thank You Lord!!!!!!!!

I have been wondering and reading and asking the Lord about healing... The word says that He healed everyone that He encountered, except for when He went to His hometown. It says that He couldn't heal very many because of their unbelief... Matthew 13:54-58: He returned to Nazareth, his hometown. When he taught there in the synagogue, everyone was amazed and said, "Where does He get this wisdom and the power to do miracles?" Then they scoffed, "He's just the carpenter's son, and we know Mary, His mother, and His brothers--James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas. All His sisters live right here among us. Where did He learn all these things?" And they were deeply offended and refused to believe in Him. Then Jesus told them, "A prophet is honored everywhere except in His own hometown and among His own family." And so He did only a few miracles there because of their unbelief.

So as I have been talking to the Lord about healing, I have been thinking on people who have been healed and haven't... I have walked in both of those shoes and one very recently... I tell Him that I believe as much as I can or even understand, so what is the deal... I know that part of the answer is: true intimacy with Him... But, I think I came across another part of the answer this morning... I was reading in Matthew, but I will use some of the same story out of Mark. I like how they both tell the story...

The Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13)

1 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake. 2 Such large crowds gathered around him that He got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore. 3 Then He told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”

10 The disciples came to Him and asked, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?”
11 He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them. 12 Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 13 This is why I speak to them in parables:
“Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.

14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
“‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. 15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

**Ok, I have read this before, many times, but there is something that I NEVER SAW... He tells them that the secrets to the kingdom of heaven has been given to them {the disciples} but not to the other people that He was talking to... The disciples are given the secrets {understanding}... So Jesus says, "whoever has will be given more, whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken away... MEANING: whoever has understanding will be given more, and whoever does not, it will be taken away... That does not seem fair, especially if you don't understand!!! But then I saw the reason why they do not have understanding in the next few verses.

vs. 14b: “‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.

{{Why don't they hear and why don't they see?? The next verse gives the answers...}}

vs, 15: "For this people’s heart has become calloused;

The rest of the verse says: ~they hardly hear with their ears, and (they) have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, and understand with their hearts and turn {{which means repent}}, and I would heal them.

I think it is sooooooooo interesting that Jesus all of the sudden brings healing into this whole conversation.. What in the world?? So, then I wondered, "how did the people's hearts become calloused?" Jesus gives the answer in the meaning of the sower.. {I will use both Matthew & Mark's account at different times because one might explain or give clearer picture to what Jesus was saying.}

Matthew 13:18: Listen to what the parable of the sower means: vs.19: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches it away what was sown in his heart. {{then Jesus gives an explanation of the ground that the seed is sown. (the ground is our hearts & condition of them) that is how the enemy can take the seed of the word away.}}

vs. 19b: This is the seed sown along the path.

vs. 20: The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. vs. 21: But since he has no root, he last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. {{notice that trouble and persecution come because of the word.. Not sure how the trouble and persecution come, it could be that the person hears the truth, but lets others talk him out of that truth or cause him to doubt the word, or give him a hard time because he believes... He has not no root in the word, so he is not able to stand, so he quickly falls away... so the enemy is able to steal the seed...}}

vs. 22: The one who received the seed that feel among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.

{{ I like the way Mark says i}}t: v. 19: but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desire for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. {{again the enemy can steal the word from us, making it not work for us, because of all the things we worry about in this life.. **that is one I struggle with**... the enemy can also steal it because we can be deceived by riches and the desire to get/buy things.... so, the answer is coming to Him instead of using "retail therapy" to try and fill that void.}}

{{I like how Mark conveys the last part of the parable.} v. 20: Others like the seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it and produce a crop-thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown." {{the key to the people with the good soil is, they hear the word AND ACCEPT IT (they believe it & understand it. Why, because their hearts aren't calloused, they haven't closed their eyes, & ears... There roots go down deep in the word, so persecution and trouble may come, but they aren't swayed. Worries may come and money may come and go, but they know Who they can go to and focus on, but they are not swayed)..}}

These are things that popped into my head and that the word says to me, and that I am saying to myself: {Will I close my eyes and ears or will I hear and accept?}

{Jesus is the only way.} 1 John 2:23 Anyone who denies the Son doesn’t have the Father, either. But anyone who acknowledges the Son has the Father also. ~ close your eyes and ears or HEAR IT & ACCEPT IT...

{Love your enemies.} Matthew 5:43-44:43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! ~close your eyes and ears or HEAR IT & ACCEPT IT...

{{He is the Lord that heals you.}} 3 John 1:2: Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. Exodus 15:26b: "For I am the LORD who heals you." ~close your eyes and ears or HEAR IT AND ACCEPT IT...

Luke 6:37-38:37 “Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” ~close your eyes and ears or HEAR IT AND ACCEPT IT...

Mark 16:16-18: “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 16 He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” ~close your eyes and ears or HEAR AND ACCEPT IT...

Could you imagine what would happen if we totally surrendered and totally believed Him and the word... Became doers and not hearers only... Hmmmmm....

Blessings, Peace & Courage to you!



Friday, April 15, 2011

SOS Searching for the Silver Lining!!!

Wow, is all I have to say about the last month and a half... It is like my whole world went crazy, and not sure even where to start, but figured blogging would be a good and healing way to do it...

I have learned sooooooooooooooooo many things about myself, the Lord and others....

So, I will be popping in to share on a regular basis, once I figure out where to start! :-)

I know that the Lord is good and He is faithful!!

I hope all is well in blogging land!!

Blessings to all of you!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

~ Excellent Wife?! WHAT~EVER!!

A few years ago we had just moved to Indiana and I joined a Ladies Bible Study... They said that we would be doing The Excellent Wife study...

I am thinking: WHAT?!?! What~ever! and "When is He going to take something on being an Excellent Husband??? Why is it always me trying to get better.. I go to Bible Study, Church, listen to Christian Radio {Pharisee!}, do devotions with the kids, pick up after him, feed him, when is HE going to try?".. I do everything I am suppose to do!{I know, it is so obvious that he is the one that needs the help.. ;-) }

Of course I would have never said anything like that out loud, but it had crossed my mind a time or two..

Anyway~ that was a little over three years ago, and we were in a really bad place and HE needed to do A LOT of changing or so I thought...

I was laying in bed this morning and thinking about a conversation I had with a friend of mine a couple days ago regarding her marriage... And then I was thinking about what all the Lord had done in my own marriage, and what I have learned {so far in 14years} along the way...

I have either said some of these things or heard some of these things:
~ he does not lift a finger to help me.
~ he works all the time.
~ he cares more about sports than he does me.
~ we are like roommates.
~ he is a slob.
~ he doesn't go to church with us.
~ he is not the spiritual leader of our home.
~ he never plans a night out for just us.
~ he doesn't know me.
~ he has no idea about my hopes and dreams.
~ all he does is joke around, he can never be serious.
~ he will spend a whole day playing golf with his brother, but wont set aside time for me.

These are just some examples, but I know that there are soooo many more...

We both did not know if our marriage was going to make it, and we knew how the Lord felt about divorce.. {By the way: been there (with him), done that, bought the t~shirt, the hat and the foam finger~ that says: "I'm #1!"} So, no condemnation to anyone from me. The Lord restored our marriage. Praise God! {but that does not mean it has been easy} {we still had so much healing to do from our pasts}... With all that in mind, I just started praying "Lord, give us Your heart for each other, and make our marriage one that glorifies You." {Ouch! that prayer hurts. But I have to say, IT IS SO WORTH IT!}

I realized that I was doing everything I was "suppose" to do, but had the wrong heart attitude about it... I was not doing it in love.. 1 Corinthians 13

I realized that I {me, myself & I}, was actually in the Lord's way... And trying to be Lord, and Holy Spirit in my husband's life.. And it was backfiring... I felt like I was going about things the right way, but underneath it all, I was really just trying to control the situation, or trying to make my husband fill a place in me, that was not his to fill... So, the Lord thwarted my efforts.. {He is so awesome, His ways are so much better! However, I was NOT singing that tune initially!}

When I gave everything over to the Lord {again, and again, and again..}i.e.:my marriage, my husband, me, my expectations of what a husband should do and be, control, etc., THEN things started to change... I prayed for my husband, but I said to the Lord, "he's Your kid, You do something with him.".. And that is the thing, the Lord loves him so much more then I ever could, HE cares about how my husband's life turns out, AND HE SEES all that my husband is going to be... And knows just how to get him there...

The Lord helped {is helping ;-) } me to get over myself, and focus on the wonderful things about my husband. Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

So I did, and at first all I got was:
~ he is the most amazing father.
~ he is hilarious.
~ and when I like him, he is cute...

Instead of giving him the cold~shoulder when he couldn't "READ MY MIND!" I tried something like: "shared what I was feeling"! without making him think that he was responsible for those feelings. {something else I had to learn.} And I had to TELL HIM what I needed. {"well, he should know what I need, I shouldn't have to tell him."} Well, they don't know ladies.. And we don't always know either... I just point blank told him {without tears, or condemnation} what I needed. AND HE HEARD ME! I couldn't believe it, because this was someone that you just couldn't talk to... {Or so I thought..} The other thing I let him know was, that I was on his team... I think sometimes we think we are on opposite teams, and need to let each other know that we are fighting "for" not "against" each other...

Now: {because of the Lord.. and b/c I got out of the way.}
~ my husband is the spiritual leader of our home.
~ I have chilled out and learned so much from him.
~ there is laughter in our home.
~ we still fight sometimes, but for each other and we get over it faster..
~ the level of respect has shot straight up..
~ we pray together.
~ we do devotions (sometimes) as a family..
~ there is more intimacy and I can truly say he is my best friend.

It has been so hard at times, so good and amazing at times, and STILL a work in progress, BUT SO WORTH IT!!! I am thankful for God's grace and patience... He will do what we cannot do and then some!

~ pray
~ get out of the way.
~ read great books that are out there regarding marriage.
~ go to counseling.. {God can make a way.. My husband said he would never go either, but he did.
~ find 1 or 2 people who will speak the truth in love and not tell you what you want to hear and are committed to pray and stand with you in your marriage.
~ ask the Lord to bring godly men into his life.
~ let him come up with things to do at church.. {and if he doesn't, don't get frustrated... the Lord will move.}

*On a serious note: I had to (chose to) give up some things at church, so I could spend more time with my family. Our families are our FIRST ministry, you do not have to get over involved, or feel guilty b/c you feel like you "should be doing more"...{Get rid of your "should" and "ought" list. Be led by the Lord..} *Learn how to say "NO"... If someone has to {continually} help you do what the Lord has given you to do {i.e. like with your kiddos or family, or you are so tired and cranky and have no patience with your family {because} you have over committed yourself for the Lord, then I would get alone with the Lord and ask Him if it really is Him that has you doing all this.} {They can all be good things and EVEN God things, but not necessarily what He has for you to do..} The Lord will show you what He wants you to do... If you feel guilty for saying no, then that is not from the Lord.. Ask the Lord what irons He wants in the fire...

~ praise God in the big and little steps that are taken!

Oh and as it turns out, I needed a whole lotta changin' myself!! {who knew? I know your shocked too..}

The Lord is amazing!

Blessings to you and your marriage! NEVER GIVE UP!!

P.S.: I did not cover abuse of any sort or habitual adultery.. I would never tell anyone to stay in that situation nor am I saying that the Lord would want you in that situation either. If you or your children are being verbally or physically abused, seek out help as soon as possible.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

~ Great Poem! ~

{A friend of mine sent me this poem... I thought it was great and wanted to share!}

I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven Who made me sputter and gasp-- The thieves, the liars, the sinners,The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade Who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor Who never said anything nice.

Bob, who I always thought Was rotting away in hell, Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal? I would love to hear Your take. How'd all these sinners get up here? God must've made a mistake.

'And why is everyone so quiet, So somber - give me a clue.' 'Hush, child,' He said,'They’re all in shock. No one thought they'd be seeing you.'


Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Every saint has a PAST... Every sinner has a FUTURE!

Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil -It has no point!

Friday, January 7, 2011

~ Take The Lord Out of The Box ~

Do you have the Lord, the way He does things and church wrapped in a neat pretty box?

Sometimes things with Jesus can be messy... I heard someone talking about child birth and the way that the Lord chose to do it... It is His will, it is in order, and yet it is messy..

Would you let Jesus spit in your eyes?

Mark 8:23-25: So Jesus took the blind man's hand and led him out of the village. Then he spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on the man and asked, "Can you see now?" The man looked up and said, "Yes, I see people, but they look like trees walking around." Again Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then the man opened his eyes wide and they were healed, and he was able to see everything clearly.

What if He wants to do things that are out of your comfort zone and nontraditional for you or in your church?

Will you let Him or will you miss what He wants to do in your life?

Just pondering what I was reading this morning and asking the Lord to show me where I may have Him in a box!

Take me out of my comfort zone Lord!!!

And I am letting You out of the box!

Saturday, January 1, 2011